After I lost the weight, and I was feeling generally better about myself, I thought that most of my depression issues had been resolved. Being actively in therapy, I assumed, would take care of any issues that would come up. I was wrong.
Last week I struggled with being happy. I could not get happy. In fact, I felt no emotion. Completing a grant? Meh. Being told that a grant I previously completed was being funded for at least $10,000? Meh. Spending time with friends. Meh. Lastly, working out? Meh.
Coming from the gym and feeling nothing scared me because working out releases endorphins and you generally feel good. I work out for at least 60 to 90 minutes each day, and usually at the end of the workout I am feeling motivated or focused, but I felt nothing. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to not work. It was awful. By Friday, I was so low, that I called into work and took a "mental health day." The irony was, I had an appointment with my therapist Friday afternoon, so I really did need that day.
Surprisingly, when I got up on Friday, I called into work and then went to to the gym. I didn't want to do my full workout, but I did it anyway. It was a huge victory for me. I am an emotional eater and when I'm feeling low, I often stay in bed and eat. If I had done that, I would never had gone to therapy and I would have cancelled the "date" I had with my mother that night. The fact that I went to the gym (and didn't think twice about it), just shows that my gym attendance is a part of my life and routine. It has become second nature. For that I am thrilled.
What about you? Do you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder? What do you do to beat the Winter Blues?
No comments:
Post a Comment