How My Weight Loss Has Affected My Place in the World

I was recently asked by my friend Adina Ingram to consider how my losing weight has affected my relationships with friends, family, as well as my feelings about myself and others.  It was something that I have been thinking about quite a bit.  As many people may know, I am in therapy.  I started seeing a counselor after I found my interactions with others to be strained or awkward.  This didn’t happen with everyone, but I noticed it happening more often than not and I grew more uncomfortable in my own skin.  I had reduced significantly in mass and I no longer knew how to be Collin Gehl.

I often wonder who has changed the most: me or the people in my life.  Most of the reactions I have gotten about my weight loss have been completely positive.  People are truly happy for me and are often telling me how good I look.  Others are inspired by not only my weight loss, but my commitment to fitness and my new positive outlook on life.  Several friends and some of my family have adopted a healthier lifestyle in part because of what I have done.  It can be both inspiring and overwhelming to be seen as a role model.  My commitment continues to grow strong because of the love and support I receive.

Unfortunately, there are those that have not been supportive of what I have done.  Some friends feel as if we’re in a competition to be “the skinniest.”  Others have pushed me away and it hurts.  As a gay man,  I have gotten a lot of positive reaction from some members of the gay community and have had people that did not look at me before be suddenly extremely interested in who I am and what I am doing. 

To have those that are supposed to be my friends resent me because of getting healthier is somewhat heartbreaking.  I often think that people don’t understand how sensitive I am.  I am very tough, as well as extremely straightforward, so I think that people just assume they can say or do anything to me and I’ll be OK.  I’ve recently defriended and pushed people out of my life because of the way they treat me.  I’ve also adjusted my approach in meeting new people.  If you can’t give me the courtesy of following through---on a meeting, a date, etc., then I don’t need you in my life and they are gone. 

This new approach to dealing with people would not have happened without both the weight loss and therapy.  Because of my new lifestyle, I am much more confident in how I carry myself and my body.  I used to slouch and try to hide, but now I find myself walking with excellent posture and looking people in the eye.  I also smile much more.  I am happier and I find that smiling puts people at ease and makes it easier for people to make friends.

The most exciting thing about the weight loss has been the new clothes.  I am falling in love with clothes---especially clothing with bright colors.  For years I wore outfits that were all dark colors or too big.  Lately I realize that those clothes were not only hiding my body, but making me look bigger.  I try to wear much more form fitting clothing, but because I am now gaining more muscle, I am struggling with finding clothes that fit correctly. 

Despite the many challenges of losing weight, I am thrilled to have done this.  It has put me on the path for greater health, which I plan on following for the rest of my life.